How long a maid of honor speech should be, and how to write one
The maid of honor speeches people remember are short, sound like the person giving them, and have one story that could only be about your friend. The ones they remember for the wrong reason are a string of inside jokes read off a phone.
How long should a maid of honor speech be?
Three minutes is plenty. Five at the most. At a normal speaking pace that’s roughly 400 to 650 words.
If you’re sharing the toast with a co-maid of honor, take about half each, and agree before the day on who tells which story. Two people telling the same one is the easiest mistake to avoid.
The five parts
This is the shape most good toasts take. Each part is a card you write over in your own words.
- 01
Who I am, and how we met
Half the room knows you as “the friend from college.” One line, so they know why you’re the one holding the mic.
- 02
One story that shows who they are
Pick it for what it says about your friend, not for how hard the two of you laughed at the time. Their grandmother is in the room.
- 03
Then they met [name]
This is the turn. When did you know this one was different? From here on it’s about the two of them.
- 04
What I wish for them
Short and sincere. Say the thing you’d be embarrassed to say at brunch.
- 05
Raise the glass
Ask everyone to raise a glass, say both names, and sit down.
How to start a maid of honor speech
Skip the quote about love you found online. Say who you are and how long you’ve known your friend, then get into the story.
A room follows you into a story faster than it follows you into a definition of marriage.
What goes wrong
The speech that’s really for the bridal party: a group nickname, a trip nobody else was on, jokes that need a backstory. Anything about exes.
Crying is fine. Losing your place because you cried is the part to plan for. Big cards with one thought each are easy to find again after you’ve stopped to breathe.
Questions
- Is it okay to get emotional during a maid of honor speech?
- Yes, and most people do. Put the line most likely to get you on a card of its own, so if you have to stop, one glance tells you exactly where to pick back up.
- How many words is a maid of honor speech?
- About 400 for three minutes and 650 for five, at a normal speaking pace. Nerves speed most people up, so a draft that runs a little over on paper usually lands on time.
- Can I read my maid of honor speech from notes?
- Yes. Nobody expects you to memorize it. What goes wrong is a wall of small text with your head down. Big cards with one thought each let you look up between them.
Get it onto cards
Paste your draft into the free cue card maker and you'll have cards in a minute, ready to print. PalmCue puts the same cards on your phone, moved with one thumb, with a silent buzz if you run long. $0.99 when it's out.
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