How long a best man speech should be, and how to write one
The best man speeches people remember are short, have one good story in them, and end with a glass in the air. The ones people remember for the wrong reason ran ten minutes and were read off a phone.
How long should a best man speech be?
About three minutes. Five at the most. At a normal speaking pace that’s roughly 400 to 650 words.
It’s easy to write twice that. Cut it before the day, not while you’re up there. Time one run out loud, because a draft always runs longer spoken than it looks on the page.
The five parts
This is the shape most good toasts take. Each part is a card you write over in your own words.
- 01
Who I am, and how I know them
Half the room has never met you. A line or two, then move on.
- 02
One story that shows who they are
One. It should show who the groom is, not the worst thing he ever did. His grandmother is in the room.
- 03
Then they met [name]
This is the turn. From here on the speech is about the two of them.
- 04
What I wish for them
Short and sincere. This is the one spot where a line you’d normally be embarrassed to say works.
- 05
Raise the glass
Ask everyone to raise a glass, say both names, and stop talking.
How to start a best man speech
Don’t open with a joke you found online. Somebody at table six found it too.
Say who you are and how you know the groom, then get into the story fast. The room warms up to a story quicker than it warms up to a bit.
What goes wrong
Inside jokes that twelve people get. Anything about exes. Reading every word off your phone with your chin on your chest.
That last one is the easiest to fix. You’ll have a mic in one hand and probably a glass in the other, so whatever you read from has to work with one thumb and a glance.
Questions
- Can I read my best man speech off my phone?
- You can, but not out of your notes app. Small grey text in one block is how you lose your place. Big cards, one thought each, with the next one a thumb press away, is what makes it work.
- How many words is a three minute speech?
- About 400, at a normal speaking pace. Nerves speed most people up, so if yours runs a little over on paper, it’ll probably be fine.
- Does a best man speech have to be funny?
- No. It has to be warm and it has to be short. A funny story helps if you have one, and it doesn’t help if you had to go looking for it.
Get it onto cards
Paste your draft into the free cue card maker and you'll have cards in a minute, ready to print. PalmCue puts the same cards on your phone, moved with one thumb, with a silent buzz if you run long. $0.99 when it's out.
Make the cards